Beautiful Soul

I never wanted to grow.  And I am not growing either.  It's time, that is running, as if to win a race.
Race... that is my life.  This is that dreamy life I wanted to live.  Being the wife of my life.

Met him 10 years ago,  saw a dream, Fairies waved their magic wands and called him 'My Man'.
Everything that happened looks so simple, so much destined.  But, when and where did I leave that unattended open space for my worst enemy - Negativity, to enter my beautiful life??

How did I stop being the positive ME??  I got everything I wanted to have by believing the magic, magic that surrounds us - The Universal energy!!

Running through the busy life, I misplaced that faith somewhere.  Though, aware of it being lost, I easily let it go and be lost. With this sweeping life, I need it desperately, I need it for myself, for my better one, for my lil one, for everyone I need in my life.  Need to hunt for it, deep dive and bring it back, fly high and hold it tight.  I need to be the positive Myself and set things right.

Everyday happenings in and around me, seems to remind me of what I have lost, every little thing around me whispers me to collect all the broken pieces and be faithful to Universe, once again.

Everything happens for  a reason, and let this reason be.  All this is enough for me to stop reasoning and start praying.  Pray in true sense of achievement.  I already have all that I wanted, its time to be thankful and enjoy life, as it comes... nahhhhhhh..... as I ask it to come :)

Opening my arms once again to embrace the beauty of self, to love and be loved.

Beautiful Soul

Daddy's girl

The tag 'Daddy's girl' comes so easily even from strangers, when all they do is just see father daughter bonding.  But it is not an easy task. Daddy dearest has to put in so much more effort in being her princess' favorite. They say Moms are special by birth because they have the privilege of being with the angel for 9 months more than anyone else.  Because they share an intimate and sacred relation with the child by breastfeeding.  Mom is the smell child recognize even before he/she knows what 'smell' means. But, in this mommy-girly duo, dad struggles to make an extra effort at everything in life.  Work accepts no excuse of being less attentive.  So, after day full of  tiresome work, coming home to a wife who has mood swings which she can easily blame to n number of changes her body has undergone since conception, absorbing all the negativities, giving her 'WE' time, respecting her need for 'ME' time by taking care of the baby and household chores.  Then, squeezing a little daddy time without disturbing the baby's sleep-feed schedule leaves the strongest pillar with no strength for his own 'ME' time.  His day ends with an alert sleep to be there if the mommy baby needs a thing.  A new day begins with no regrets, dad is ready to face it strong. 

Due to work, dad can give his time to the little one like a routine way.  Slowly the baby starts expecting his stronger pillar same time each day, a little later than the usual time makes her uncomfortable as if she knows how to worry.  But, a little earlier than the regular time is a delight even for the little eyes. This delight assures him of his importance in the little one's life.  And this is what gives him energy to carry on, to make an extra effort every day. Within no time he secures a special place in the tiny heart, a place where only daddy resides.  A dad's heart is all for the little girl he fathered, but to gain that special place in her heart is a task which gives her a tag ' Daddy's girl'.. while dad still is just a dad :)

I love my husband for being a dad!

Between the lines

Mad for him.  Mad after him.  Mad for his love...
There was a time, I was madly in love with him.  Would do anything and everything to just see him.  Would day dream being his wife one day.  And with God's grace, my dream came true. 
Marriage took our love to a new level, we became parents.  The moment i gave birth, I was re-born, literally! My madness found a new path, I was more of a mom than a wife. I was so busy playing my new role, I had less to no inkling about how much my real love missed me, my love, my madness for him.  But, I had a cute little reason, which he silently respected.  He enjoyed father daughter time all the time.  Like the best husband, he graduated to be the best dad.  This beautiful phase of life was starting to fade the memories of its beautiful yesterday, the days we were only for each other.

Soon, our lil love beacame a toddler.  Now she has her own busy schedule, her growing independence.  Everything has fallen to a routine.  I regularly get my ME time, I have so many things to do in that little time, that sometimes choosing a task takes up all the time.  I want to start working again.  I want to peep out of my Mommy-Daughter world.  Well, I know I can easily manage to do all this.  But, today, I miss being only Myself.  Ofcourse, I am thankfully blessed being a mother. Still, I miss my love.  Wouldn't that "us" time be back? Why do I have to live the memories and not create them once again?  Time and again, I have said, that our baby has strengthened our bond, she has brought us more close.  But, this is equally true, that she has taken intimacy out of our love.

This feeling of longing for him, has made me more sensitive, at the same time more strong, more matured.  If I dont focus on intimacy part, our relationship has evovled.  It has evolved to a level, where our hearts talk, our minds gossip.  Yes, from a topic of gossip to a craving for something, to a need for something.  We know it all about each other.  We dont get to talk much, still we listen to each other.  All the little time we actually talk is about the grocery shopping, our daughter's daily updates, maids lies and other silly but important things. 

From the day we first met, to today, there have been so many memories like the moment my daughter was born to today when she can draw some lines.  Between each of those lines, are sweet somethings to cherish for life.  There are stories to cherish for lifetime, between the gap being a young girl wanting to marry her Mr. Perfect, and a woman deeply in love with her husband, and a mother nurturing her little princess to read between the lines that makes life worth living....

Moulding a life!

Her life belongs to me for some more years, she depends on me for everything today, she imitates me, she looks up to me and is quietly learning something from all my actions and reactions.. Am I eligible to teach her whats and hows and how muchs of life?  Have I learned enough from life, to teach someone?

No, I am not perfect, I still am a lil girl who wants to slid in her comfort zone time and again, who behaves childlike, craves for ice-creams, is all smiles with the idea of an outing, all tears when a plan doesn't work, shouts ' mummaaa' when a dog barks at her, rings neighbor's doorbell to help shoo a lizard away..

Having said all this, I am a Mom, and she is my 1 year old daughter :)  Like all, many, some.. phew, I dont care.. I want to give her the best of the world... I wish to teach her all good values, feed her the most nutritious and healthy food, protect her all the time, give her best of health, best education... blah blah blah...want to give her a life worth living for...  While thinking of all this, (and trying to implement too :P ) like a wandering monkey, pops another thought in my already flooded head... What do I teach her, how do I teach her, and how much of it is enough for her to get going on the right path?  

Try as I may, I know there is no answer to it, as learning has no end and age limits, I am there to help her distinguish good from not so good, but she is the one to decide, I gave her birth, but she has to mould her life!

Pouring mother's heart ;)
Reena..